Monday, March 15, 2010
Here are the new automotive rules for 2010:
Frequent garage sale shoppers must drive a Ford Aerostar or Chevy Astro van. Acceptable substitues include the Chevy Lumina APV, 90s Honda Accord with mismatched wheels and any Toyota Pickup sold before 1988.
Attractive college girls will drive a Jetta, formerly attractive college girls now women trying to prove youthful sassiness and continued attractiveness will drive a VW Beetle.
Creepers who hang out at 7-11 still have to drive full size vans including old, clapped out van conversions, former ambulances purchased at auction or and van with curtains in the back window and a Bud Man bumper sticker. This year, the Chevy HHR is added to the list.
Short guys must still drive lifted Silverados although an F-150 will work too. Bonus knob points for custom mud flaps, super spooky skull grill ornament and flames of any kind. Anyone driver under 5' 6" must have rubber nuts hanging from the tow hitch. Don't have a tow hitch? Then you're probably taller than 5' 6"